I’m cooking spaghetti for dinner so I called back home to ask my mom what her recipe for tomato sauce is. My dad answered, and I told him that I was hoping to catch mom to ask for the recipe.
Now, my dad was born in Italy, and raised by a born-and-bred Italian mother and an Italian-American father. And yet, he does not do the cooking.
He was quiet for a minute. I was about to hang up and call back later and then, out of nowhere, he began rattling off the family recipe for sauce, giving detailed step-by-step instructions. He seemed very indignant that I hadn’t asked him, the real Italian (mom is Cajun), for the recipe.
Note to self: When consulting a parent about how to cook Italian, ask the Italian.
-Every time Marx uses the term “bourgeois,” do a shot.
-Every time Hegel is referenced, do a shot.
-Every time Hegel is bashed, do a shot.
-Every time there is clear snark and/or a clever insult, do a shot.
By the end of The German Ideology you will be dead and therefore will not need to worry about the impending proletariat revolution.